Being a Malayalee !

Three months back, when I boarded the train from Calicut station to this city of Jalandhar, little did I knew that I would end up making such a post- a post that explains how it ‘feels to be like being a malayalee’.I have been asked by almost everyone about my homeland, kerala.  This is a humble effort from my part to address a few questions and doubts of my non-malayalee friends :) .

 Especially for those who likes to nag me with stupid questions like:

“Do you guys eat fish year round?”
“ ehh.. err.. Just two times of the year. When it rains and when it doesn’t. What now?”

“You add coconut oil to every food items?”

“Huh..??  Yeah we even add it to tea and coffee. Common yrr!”

And goes on…….

It’s high time you guys know something about us  :D. On BEHALF of my mallu friends, let me wrap this up  :   

•     My mother tongue is not Tamil.
•  I may like Al Paccino, rajanikanth or Shahrukh Khan, but would prefer Mammootty or Mohanlal.
•   We like Cricket, but We love football even more.
•  But still Sachin always comes first in the list of favorites.
• All our uncles are not in Gulf.
•   I may or may not be Marxist, but essentially a socialist.
• I may not laugh at your jokes. No offences. Blame it on Jagathy Sreekumar. I have already heard them :) .
•   You may not laugh at my jokes. No offences. Blame it on sreenivasan. You wouldn’t understand.
• I am a Non vegetarian and yes I eat Beef. Believe me when I say my hindu friends also does :) .
•  If you find me and another malayalee friend shouting at each other animatedly at the top of our voices, never bother; we are just having a healthy discussion on mammootty vs mohanlal :D
• When I was a student, we never bunked. We just called for a strike.
• Yes. I can play football and ride a bike wearing a lungi. Now you can’t beat that :p
• I do not understand kathakali.
•  When you are talking to me, don’t mention Poland. Again blame it on sreenivasan. You wouldn’t understand. :D
• Being Mallu is the capability to watch a Malayalam, Hindi, Tamil and English movie on same     weekend.
• .Being mallu is to have your best friend always from the other community.
• .Being mallu is the ability to make jokes even in the most tragic difficult situations.
•  Being Mallu means everyone’s mother tongue is Malayalam irrespective of Religion, probably  the only one state.

       And many more..

I know your Questions never end even though I excuse you guys with this sort of  :

“How come all you malayalees are smart?”

“Oops! Can’t help it.. (Blushing)!!  Dhaanks by d way” :D

A Few Things That ONLY a Keralite Can Understand

If you can’t understand what follows, I have already warned you !! 

This two people are part of your daily life, literally.

Finding happiness in Chaos. Example?? What about hartals :D

Crap just got real in mallu land

 Best Breakfast ever. Waffles?? Move over.

 No MSGs No GMOs. Just Pure coconut oil.

So when I say coconut water is good for health,

This is what I really meant

This is the Onam the TV shows you??

Well, This is what actually happens :(

We hate him or Love him. Either one. 

We go through the menu 10 times, only to order this in the end. The famous Malabar Biriyani :)

Mallus love him more than in his homeland . :D

Our Stapple food. The kerala Porotta.

Man we are cool otherwise. But on hartals.... :D

The man who taught mallus to cuss in English.

Poland is a touchy subject. You gotta be a Mallu to understand this. :D

The mallu way of saying "Yes, No and Maybe" all in one go. The mallu headshake.

So we are Malayalees. Just remember that

!!

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT KERALA THAT I AM REALLY PROUD OF!

1) We are a group of people who are as unique as our geography – Calm, composed, serene and welcoming.

2) You can't much differentiate between  city-village here. Villages have telephones, electricity and roads. Cities have the virtues of a country-side.

3) The climate is almost uniform, maritime type round year with almost seven months of rain. The best bet you can get.

4) Tourism, IT and Spice exports are the major industries. No effluents. No toxic gases.

You see, I'm Proud about that.

5) Our movies. Although they cater to a limited audience, it has a cinematic language of its own. Where else can we see mainstream, commercially successful movies shot as early as in the eighties dealing with subjects as varied as surrogate motherhood (dasharatham) and retrograde amnesia (Innale)? Classics do not end there, ofcourse!

6) Music in our films. Mostly raga-based melodies that give equal importance to poetry. That will explain why we have more of poets and less of lyricists in the Malayalam film industry.

7) We are the most secular state in the country , I can proudly say. Religion is always a personal thing and there is immense respect for other faiths.  Rest of India can take a lesson or two from here on multicultural pluralism.

8)We respect our women and shun the evil of female infanticide. Why else would there be this astounding sex-ratio of 1058 woman for every 1000 man?


9) The geography – Rivers, backwaters, waterfalls, beaches, canals, estuaries, freshwater lakes, pristine forests, plantations and abundant greenery; you name it, we have it.  Eastern side is lined up by Western ghats and all along the west-side is the Arabian Sea. So wherever you are in Kerala, go eastwards for a hill-station or go westwards if you’re in a mood for some beach fun.

10) Last but definitely not the least, is the brand Kerala. Ayurveda,  Kalaripayattu, Kathakali and several firsts in literacy, healthcare and education. Why wouldn’t I be proud that I belong to this land?

As I write this, I miss the drizzling soft winter showers back home. I hope I’ll soon take a walk in the rains, enjoy the happy sway of water-glazed leaves and devour that smell of wet earth. J